Pregnancy Potatoes

The man and I have enjoyed married life so much, we decided to up the ante. Next February, our family will be expanding with a little baby nugget. We’re having a baby! We’re so excited, and the husband is winning all sorts of awards for how nice he is to me.

So there’s the good news . . . Now onto the melodramatic story:

I thought pregnancy was going to be a blissful, glowy time, where my hair would be shiny, and my skin would be dewey. Unfortunately, I feel like I have been to hell and back over the last 3 months. Nobody talks about how terrible the first trimester is.

The only thing I can compare it to would be a 3-month hangover. I felt so bad, I would beg to get sick just for a little relief. One pitiful night, I asked my husband (through tears) to take me in the backyard and shoot me. (really?)

The only food I could tolerate was crackers and gatorade for weeks on end. This quickly transitioned to even more legit hangover food: Pizza, quesadillas, mac and cheese. Usually in one sitting.

I remember the far gone days of organic groceries from Whole Foods. I confess that in recent weeks, I’ve demanded we drive to a McDonalds immediately. I NEED chicken nuggets and french fries. And I may or may not have insisted on a Double Decker Taco from Taco Bell. Yes, I have reached new levels of culinary shame.

And then there were the mashed potatoes. Heavenly. The man decided we could easily make some at home. By “we” I mean “he” because I could no longer look in the kitchen without getting sick. These potatoes were made with love, for a very emotional pregnant lady.

PS. I’m now in the second trimester, and despite having the energy of a sloth, I’m feeling much better.

Pregnancy Mashed Potatoes

(as dictated to me by my husband)

“Russet Potatoes, as many as you want, no measurements. You need to peel ‘em. You need to chop them in quarters, then put them in water. Just regular water. Then bring the water to a boil. Cook until potatoes are soft.

Drain ‘em. Then mash them up with a fork. Put in as much butter as you want. Then about ½ cup of cream. Then lots of salt and white pepper.”

If you are pregnant (or hungover), then you can add bacon and cheese to the top.